Monday, July 30, 2012

Chelsea and Parker take over Boot Nation Studios!

Hey, thanks for joining us tonight on Boot Nation. I'm Chelsea and I"m here today to introduce you to my best friend, Parker. 
Hi,everyone, I'm Parker. I'm a  pair of knee-high zip ups boots from Nine-West.
Thanks so much for having me on the show, Chelsea. 
It's our pleasure having you on, Parker. Yesterday, Boot Nation fans got hear a little bit about me, but honestly you're the real reason everyone is here tonight. They've heard so much about you over the years. But until now, you've been a complete mystery. I mean you've always been somewhat aloof. Some would even say you're a snob. (Laughs). 
LoL, You're so right, Chelsea. I am a huge snob. I love being a total bitch. I've always gotten away with it too. 
Well, you have all the reason in the world to be a bitch Parker. I mean, you've given The Deformographer so much real power over the years being so bitchy. I mean, just look at you! Your'e tall, have gorgeous brown leather and your 3.5 inch heel is so sexy. Not to mention, your zipper!!
Oh my god, Chels. I love my zipper. I call it my back-door zipper cuz I like to take it in the rear if you know what I mean. Here, take a listen.... zzzziiiiiiippppp. LoL. Is that sexy or what!
You are a true FMB, Parker. 
Hey, careful now, Chels. This is a family show. We dont want the sensors over at Google getting a wad in their panties. (wild laughter).
Google... Lick my BOOTS! (both in unison. Laughing hysterically).
You crack me up, Chels!
Alright, well folks, you get a bit of an idea of what Parker's like. She's a bitch, as advertised. But let's hear from the bitch herself on what it's like to be a pair of knee high zip up boots, shall we.  Take it away, Parker. 
Thanks again, Chelsea. Well, we certainly have lived different lives and given The Deformographer different kinds of power. When The Deformographer was 18, honestly, it didn't matter what she wore. I mean she was so damn pretty it was insane.
She still IS, Parker!
Oh, absolutely. But now she's a bit older and definitely more mature. When she was 18, she wasn't ready for a pair of boots like me. Now, I look perfect on her. Plus, she can stilll wear you whenever she wants and its a seemless transition from stuck up bitch to punk rock bitch.. with steel toes on too!
For sure, Parker. I still love breaking things. LoL.
....The only thing I've ever broken, were the hearts of little boys, Chels. LoL.
Little boys, or 50 year old men, with little you know whats....LOL.
HAHAHA. (Chelsea falls over laughing).
We digress. Anyways. So yeahs, as I was saying. Now The Deformographer uses me and all of her other knee high boots from Nine West, Aldo, Charles David, Steve Madden and Victoria's Secret when she attends business meetings, fundraisers, court appearances, press conferences, you name it. When The Deformographer wants to show her power, she uses knee high Zip up high heel boots.
...She has other pairs of knee high dress boots that are not zip ups though. She has a very nice collection of convertibles and other types of pull-ons. 
Oh, for sure. All of them are sexy too and give her tons of power. Tons! The zipper is an amazing thing though. 
Yeah, I was telling everyone last night, that zippers weren't invented on combat boots when I was born. 
Oh, don't get me wrong though, Chels. I love you sooo much because you don't have a zipper. Your laces make you unique and the Boots you are! Indeed, you are Effort to put on... and take off for that matter. lol 
She never want to take me off, Parker. We've been together for so long, I'm part of her feet now!
No kidding. Chels, I love it when just you and I are sitting in the closet together. You smell so good.  The Deformographer's foot scent combined with your kidskin leather make you an intoxicating pair of boots!
I still don't even know what kidskin is, Parker. But thank you so much for the compliments. I've always admired your beauty so much. We are so different, yet we are both pairs of knee high boots!
Amen for that, Chels.
Okay, folks. That's all the time we have for today. I hope you feel like you've gotten to know me a little bit better. And we are so glad you got to meet Parker. Tomorrow. you'll get to meet Lolita. She's the real sexpot of the bunch.  She's a pair of patent leather Thigh-High boots. She was once worn by Anne Hathaway in the old Batman movie, The Dark Night Rises! So, don't miss her!
Parker thanks for taking the time to be here tonight. I know you're getting spit shined tomorrow. So have fun with that. 
My pleasure, Chelsea. Can we have sex now?
Of coarse! Can I play with your zipper?
Only if you let me tie you up with your laces...
Hellz Yeahh!!
Both pairs of boots jump all over each other and well, we had better leave them alone,
For everyone at the Boot Nation Studios. This IS BootBoy.

(The views and opinions expressed by Lolita do not necessarily represent those of Boot Nation or its Management)


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